Hardik Rajgor

I n my callow youth, I’ve had many flings. My passport was my first love; I remember holding on to it for dear life as I took my first flight abroad. When I turned 18, my driving licence, my gateway to make all my testosterone-fuelled  Fast and Furious  dreams come true, came into my life. This was followed by the voter ID card, definitive proof that I was now an adult worthy of electing the esteemed representatives of our country. Soon after I had a short, summer romance with the PAN card (although we were more like  friends with benefits ) I don’t regret any of these relationships. They all did their bit for me, helped me grow into the person I am today, and I’m still friends with most of them. But they failed to complete me; I couldn’t see them as an integral part of my life. I wanted something more from my partner. And then on a fine winter morning in January 2009, I met  Aadhaar . It was love at first sight. I was awestruck the moment Aadhaar scanned my eye...

W hen you grow up in a middle-class home, outlets for creativity are limited, much like political options in India. Right from  school , pursuits like drawing,  singing , and craft are considered “extracurricular activities” — basically a waste of time. If you excel at them, the only stage you’re offered is at family functions where dad tells you “Beta, uncle ko ganaa gaake sunao” or “Beta, dadi ki liye birthday card banao”. As a career choice, art is considered the bottom of the barrel. If you told your parents, you wanted to join a design school, they’d sit you down to tell you, “Yeh ameeron ke shauq hain, beta.” Only rich people can afford creative careers, because “scope nahi hai”. Middle-class folks are required to curb their creativity the same way Hardik Pandya curbs his attacking instincts in  Test cricket . However, there is one festival which turns into a mosh pit for the creative types – Ganesh Chaturthi. Ganesha is the God of Fun, associated with music, ...

H undreds of news reports, thousands of tweets, millions of people, and even the Reserve Bank of India gave its verdict on  demonetisation . The RBI declared that 99.3 per cent of demonetised notes came back to the banks. Everyone still goes on and on about how demonetisation was a massive failure that hurt the economy. Poor Arun Jaitley had to defend demonetisation more than Rahul Dravid had to defend himself in the Rawalpindi Test Match in 2004. This negativity is so polluting that even the smog in Delhi looks at it and develops a complex. I’m sick and tired of this nonsense peddled by the liberal media. Can we just ignore  statistics  and facts that reflect reality, and look at the good things demonetisation gave us? Demonetisation had people of all castes, religions, economic, and ethnic backgrounds coming together for one grand cause – to coax hundred bucks out of the ATM machine. It united us a country, in a way that even the movie  Border  or India-...

C an you truly call yourself a  ’90s kid  if your folks didn’t bundle you off for cycling, karate, or swimming every summer? Indian parents did not want their kids wasting time watching Cartoon Network all day, so they came up with a checklist to create a master race, and the way to do that was to teach the subjects a new skill during every vacation. First, I started with cycling, because I live in a  Gujarati  family and it was the cheapest investment. The next year,  The Karate Kid  was a huge hit, and I was screaming, “Hu! Ha!” every morning in a white robe with the confidence of Bruce Lee and the ability of a ’90s-era Adnan Sami. Once land was conquered, it was time to venture into Poseidon’s realm, and master the art of swimming. My  father  believed in the old-school instruction method of throwing me into a slow-moving river and hoping for the best. After definitely swallowing a few litres of dirty water and probably a few small fish, ...

T he visual of Croatian President Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović trying to console a sobbing Luka Modrić after their side’s 4-2 loss to France in the World Cup final is going to stay with me – and I am certain I speak for many who love and follow football with ardent devotion. It was irrelevant whether you supported  Croatia , France, or were a neutral spectator. Watching a grown man cry after a game is heartbreaking. More so, when it is Luka Modrić, a player you just cannot not love. At 32, Luka Modrić might have played his last game at a  World Cup  for Croatia, taking them to the finals and winning the Golden Ball in the process. In his own words, it was a “bittersweet moment,” because personal glory is pale in comparison to winning the ultimate prize for the team. It tells you everything you need to know about the Croatian captain. With three Man of the  Match  awards in seven games, Croatia’s midfield general had a stellar tournament. It is rather fitting t...

T here are many things Diego Maradona could have done after his stint as the world’s greatest footballer of all time. He could have, like other legends from the world of  sport , chosen a dignified, greying life spent in a suit throwing instructions at footballers from the other side of the touchline, he could become a  football  pundit on TV, or he could have simply posed for photographs while doing humanitarian work across the globe. But that’s not who Diego Maradona is. Maradona’s entire life has been a Mountain Dew commercial – full throttle, filled with thrill and  adventure . If his life were to be summarised as an inanimate object, it would be a Formula One car. It moves at speed, there’s a lot of thrill, but a permanent risk that things could come crashing down any moment. He is Argentina’s comic star, action hero, and chocolate boy all rolled into one. When he’s not busy smoking pot, sporting a Che Guevara tattoo, and trying out a funky hairstyle, he...

D ear <insert name of Finance Minister here>, I don’t know who I should address this mail to, because I’m not sure who the Finance Minister currently is. Are we doing the odd-even thing, where it’s Arun Jaitley on odd days and  Piyush Goyal  on even days? Anyway, I will address it to Arun Jaitley ji because I don’t know of any other way to say it – I am  katti  with Piyush Goyal. I would like to tender my resignation from the post of Chief Economic Advisor after serving almost four years in office. The finance ministry seems to be a  “sinking ship”  – even Rahul Gandhi knows it – and I don’t want to be around when it hits the iceberg. The  economy  has hit a rough patch, fuel prices are rising, the  rupee  is getting weaker and the current account deficit is widening. I was among the world’s top 100 thinkers in 2011 – I can’t have a blip on my  CV  just because you lot can’t get your shit together. However, t...